Sunday, December 11, 2011

It's not about the weight. It's not about the goal.

It's not about Being Thin or Being Someone Special or Getting There.  Those are fantasies in your mind--and they are all in the future, a future that never comes.  Because when your goals are reached, they will be reached in the "right now."  And in the "right now," you will still be you, doing the same things you do now.  You will still stand up. Walk around. Get root canals. Open the refrigerator door. Sleep. Feel happy. Feel devastated.  Feel lonely.  Feel loved. Get old. Die.

But it's not not about the weight because if you keep using food as a drug, if you keep distracting yourself by creating a weight problem, then you need to attend to your weight in order to stand up, walk around, open doors, sleep, feel happy, feel devastated, feel loved, get old, die-- with any degree of attention, wholeheartedness, presence.  If you keep slapping another problem on top of the freshness of life itself, all you see is what you've slapped on to it.  You cannot ignore a problem just because it's one you've manufactured.

At some point, it becomes about the weight.  When you can't life the rest of your life with ease, the weight itself needs to be addressed.  Not so that you can become super-model thin.  Not so that you can look like an image in your mind that has nothing to do with your body, your age, your life.  You need to address the weight because without addressing it, you don't actually live.  You schlep yourself from place to place, out of breath.  Sitting is painful.  Flying is torturous.  Going to the movies is challenging.  You become as burdened with the problem you've created that your lie becomes small and your focus becomes narrow.  Life becomes about your limitations.  What you can and cannot do.  How much you can hide.  How ashamed you are of yourself.  You close down your senses, you leave the world of sounds, of color, of laughter in favor of a reality you've created yourself.  If you keep using food as a drug, if your life comes about your weight, you miss everything that is not realted to your weight problem.  You die without ever having lived.

Taken from the book: "Women Food and God" by Geneen Roth Author of the New York TImes Bestseller "WHEN FOOD IS LOVE"

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